My God Moment
by Suzanne D. Williams
My life is so ordinary. I say that all the time, but it’s true. I remember attending my 10th high school class reunion a number of years ago. There we were around the table, staring at each other, discussing who had done what and been where. This one had a college degree. That one had sailed around the world. One girl worked for the FBI. The FBI! I remember thinking, “Gee, I got married.”
I can’t even say I was horrible and reformed. I’ve never drank a drop of alcohol. I’ve never smoked anything. I graduated making A’s and B’s. I went to church four times a week (at least, it feels that way.) My life defines the word “boring.” Who am I really? I’ve suffered the answer to that question a lot.
|Image Courtesy of Hisks|
Well, several years ago, my ordinary life fell completely apart. I was physically, mentally, and spiritually ill. I couldn’t function anymore. I stopped eating. I quit leaving home. I became confused and very, very afraid. Now, not the “I-hate-spiders” kind of fear – more the crippling, I can’t sleep, can’t breathe, suffocating sort of fear. I was depressed and wished to die.
At that moment, at the very bottom of my ordinary life, I had my biggest God moment. There on my face, weeping and sobbing, begging God to “fix me,” I finally did what I should have done all along. I surrendered. I had nothing left of me to give. I knew better than ever how inadequate and ineffective I was as a human being. I couldn’t pull myself out. I needed the hand of a magnificent, powerful God to reach down and lift me up.
But in order for God to “fix me,” I had to stop thinking about fear. I turned off the television and spent hours reading the Word of God. I listened to faith messages over and over, renewing my mind. Most importantly, I worshipped. Through time spent in worship and prayer, God became bigger than my problem; His presence returned the peace I lost, and I began to hear His voice. Christ in me changed me from the inside out.
That’s the truth about a God moment. It isn’t reading a Bible verse, saying two words in prayer and moving on with your day. No, a God moment stays, it remakes the very essence of who you are. You don’t think the same anymore. You don’t act the same anymore. Your goals change along with your methods of reaching them.
My life is back to being ordinary, and I love it. I love boring. I love every day being exactly the same as the next. I love it, but…but now time in prayer comes first. Time talking to God is ahead of anything else I do. If God doesn’t want me to write it, I don’t. Because He is in control of my life, and my life is grand. My God moment comes every day, every day when He reaches down and in a still, small voice says, “I love you, Suzanne. Now, here’s what I want you to write…”
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, mother, and dachshund-owner who loves photography and writing. She writes a monthly column for Steves-Digicams.com on the subject of digital photography. She also does graphic design for authors.
Suzanne offers two items in the 99-Hour 99-Cent Event.
It All Began with a Salad
A Short Story
Life Lessons from Grandparents: A Trip Down Memory Lane
Compiled by Suzanne Williams and Tracy Ruckman