Friday, November 14, 2014

Changing Focus

Have you ever been so focused, so intent on doing one thing that you lose sight of everything else? So focused on that one thing that every conversation, every thought, every word that comes out of your mouth ends up pointing back to that one focus, whether you want it to or not?

I’ve been that way for the past three weeks. We’re struggling with a particular issue, and because I’m so focused on trying to deal with it, my thoughts and my words – and even my sleep – are consumed by it.

I know it’s not healthy. I know it’s not right. I know. I know. I know.

Yet, I can’t seem to stop, because the issue isn’t yet resolved.

Am I the only one with this problem? Of course not. But at times, it sure seems like I am. It’s those times when I want to stand up, pitch a temper tantrum, and shout the roof off, “Somebody, please HELP make this problem go away!”

This tunnel vision makes me do stupid things – say things or write things that I second-guess myself on later. For example, I wrote something to a group earlier this week, and have beat myself up over it ever since, feeling a silent judgment of my post. No one said anything – I just feel the condemnation coming through cyberspace. (See, my so-focused-brain isn’t even rational at times!) I’ve pondered whether the Holy Spirit is convicting me of saying something wrong and yet tried to justify it, by arguing that I was just stating the truth. Yes, I was truthful. But I probably shouldn’t have written what I did because my focus was too tight.  Too focused inward. Too focused personally. And yet, even as I write that, I question myself. “If I’m not focused on this problem, how else will it get resolved?”

I’m still a work in progress. God’s not finished with me yet.

This tunnel vision also hinders my work. It causes me to be overwhelmed with the problem, which keeps me from moving forward, onto other things. Instead, I dwell in the problem, wrestling round and round with it – not resolving it, but not accomplishing anything else either.

Now I’m behind, and that creates its own set of problems.

Today, I must change focus. I must drag myself out of this week’s quicksand and stand on Solid Rock. I do that by changing my focus from my problems to God’s Word, which tells me He’s bigger than my problems.

Jeremiah 32:27 says, “Look, I am Yahweh, the God of all flesh. Is anything too difficult for Me?”


Have you ever struggled with something like this? 
Are you going through it now? May I pray for you?

6 comments:

Debbie Clark said...

Tracy, thanks for being so honest about it. I also am a work in progress. I have said many things at times that had I thought about it and prayed about it I would have kept my mouth shut! I pray that I am filled with God's words, being joyful, patient, full of love for others, understanding and God's peace.

Lori Stanley Roeleveld said...

Accept mercy and grace for yourself, Tracy, and keep walking. I'll be praying for you, sis. we all get it wrong sometimes.

Tracy Ruckman said...

Thanks, ladies.

Jennifer said...

Am in a similar place. Have to keep giving it to God, 100 times a day...

Tracy Ruckman said...

Praying for you, Jennifer! May God move mightily on your behalf.

Betty Thomason Owens said...

You know those times in class when someone else was being chewed out and you were glad it wasn't you because you were guilty of the same thing but didn't get caught? Yeah. That's how I feel right now. I'm being funny, but I really appreciate your honesty, Tracy. Confession is not only good for the soul, it tends to instill trust in your readers and followers, because they know you're sensitive to that higher calling.

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